A review of Gwen Haworth's documentary "She's a Boy I Knew"
“She’s a Boy I Knew” has been touted as a cutting edge, transgender success story. Really it is a story of love, loss, and transformation. On the surface, we have Steven Haworth, only son, and husband to Malgosia. Steven soon reveals a closely guarded secret which sends his loved ones reeling. And so, begins the journey of Steven as he transforms into Gwen. But the true story lies in the narrative of those around her.
While the film does depict a supportive family, unwavering in their love as they grapple with the issue of transexuality, what is more compelling is the difficulty of the situation for all involved. The suppressed heartbreak of Gwen’s father is painful to watch. The mother, on the other hand, fares better at keeping her emotions under wraps beneath a slightly oblivious, but humorous chatter. Only a fleeting expression betrays her near the end of the film.
It seems only Gwen’s little sister, Nicole, and her best friend, Roari are able to be the consummate cheerleaders providing unfaltering support. But perhaps this is because, for various reasons, their identities are not as tied up in Gwen’s. Gwen’s transformation does not impact their futures or the way they perceive their pasts in the same way that it does for the others.
Identity does not occur in a vacuum. When Gwen Haworth decided to be true to her identity, her loved ones lost something in theirs. As Gwen’s mother says, when she had Steven her work was done. She had produced a son and fulfilled her role as a wife. The sense of loss subtly and powerfully permeates the narratives of Gwen’s loved ones. A father losing a son. A sister losing her brother. A wife losing her husband. What Gwen has gained, it seems her family has lost.
And for no one else is the impact greater, than for Gwen’s ex-wife, Malgosia. Loving her husband greatly she decides that the physical cannot trump the mental and spiritual. She stays with Steven for two years as he undergoes his transformation. However, if the physical did not matter, Gwen would still be Steven. Malgosia eventually comes to the realization that she had not chosen to be a platonic roommate to Gwen, but a wife to Steven. Malgosia’s parting is a more difficult undertaking for Gwen as her desire to be with Malgosia has not changed through her external transformation.
Gwen Haworth has shown a sensitive ear and obvious talent as a filmmaker. A personal story of transexuality, becomes a tribute to family and in the truest sense, unconditional love. An exceptional film experience, the world debut of “She’s a Boy I Knew” garnered high praise from film-goers at the Vancouver International Film Festival, capturing both the Vancity People's Choice Award for Most Popular Canadian Film and winning filmmaker Gwen Haworth the Women in Film & Television Vancouver Artistic Merit Award.
