Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family

Susan Kaplan's Sensitive Documentary about a Love Triangle

Oct 8, 2009

A privileged and poignant view of complicated relationships, an untraditional family, and enduring friendships that are all very, very human; a surpisingly good film.

Sam Cagnina met Steven Margolin when Steven was just 19. They fell in love and began living together. Everything was going well in the relationship, but Sam thought it would be nice to also have a lady around the house; finally, Steven agreed. For the next several years, they searched for a female that would complement their relationship, but had no luck until they met the beautiful and exotic Samantha Singh. Samantha was open to being part of a non-traditional family, so soon the trio became a single unit. Initially, both the men were very attentive to Samantha, and Samantha was aware of the existing dyad into which she had moved. When all three went into business together, with Sam and Samantha providing support for Steven's growing spa and chiropractic practice, stress began to fracture their union.

Polyamorous Relationships Prove Challenging

When the family began to think about having chlldren, it seemed appropriate for the security of marriage, so Sam and Samantha tied the knot. The truth about their relationship with Steven remained hidden, and Samantha tried to present to her family a more traditional marriage with Sam. Eventually, though, she needed to let her very conservative and traditional family know that she was living with two men. It added yet another level of stress to the already strained living situation. But the trio kept working hard on the relationship and they were able to sustain it, at least for awhile. When Samantha becomes pregnant, no one is certain who is the father of the child; what next? One thing they all agree upon is that they will all love the child, no matter what. But when the child begins drawing two Daddies in her school pictures, everyone admits things are more challenging than they expected.

Susan Kaplan's Documentary Shows a Postmodern Family

The film allows the viewer an initimate glimpse into a very untraditional family, but it is very much a family nonetheless. A third person among the parenting dyad adds more complexity and challenges to the mix. Who is the biological father? Does it matter? How will they determine their individual roles? Financial roles? What happens to the original dyad of Steven and Sam? How will Samantha get her own needs met while cohabiting with two homosexual males? Despite the unusual circumstances, this film is very real and and very revealing of the three adults who participate in challenging the social and sexual mores of their time. There is a sweetness and sincerity to the participants that does not prepare the viewer for the ending of the film. This is a much better viewing experience than the title alone might indicate. A thoughtful and very well-conceived film.

The copyright of the article Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family in Socio-Political Documentaries is owned by Barbara DeGrande. Permission to republish Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.